ANOTHER CAT SCAN WITH CONTRAST

Had a CAT Scan with contrast today.  Had to take pre meds due to my allergy to the contrast dye they insert into my vein.

They wanted me to pay a co-payment of $199 but I informed them that I am on Financial Assistance from the hospital.  I made a partial payment then after the scan spoke with Jennifer in Financial Services Department.  She said that I have not yet been approved.  I informed her that I had received a letter last month stating that I was approved.  She does not have a record of that.  When I came home I found the letter I received last month stating I was approved for 90% free care.  Will wait to receive a bill then contact her again.

ENT APPOINTMENT

Saw Dr. Beyer today and informed him of the pain in my throat and ear for the last few weeks.  This pain is similar to what I experienced before I was diagnosed 2 years ago.  I am a bit concerned.  

He scoped me and said everything looked fine.  However, he ordered a CAT Scan with contrast and pre meds for my allergy to the contrast.

I'm going to have to pay the deductible of $250 I guess.  Will know in a couple of days when the appointment is made for the scan.

SURVIVING CANCER

Here are some insights to celebrate my upcoming 2 year recovery from Oropharyngeal Cancer.

1. When I say, “I’m fine,” I’m lying. Why? Because I can’t stand to explain what I’m going through one more time. Because every time I do, I remind myself of the details. 

No, I’m not okay. I’m different. My current different may be less bad than when I was in treatment or immediately after treatment. But that does not mean I’m okay. In order to kill my cancer, they nearly killed me. I may be okay, eventually. Or I may just have to get used to my “new normal.” (I hate that phrase!) One thing I will never be is, “who I was before.” I’m going to have to get used to that.  I may have been cured of the cancer but I still have the HPV+ virus that gave me cancer.  And if my immune system crashes again the cancer will most likely return.  That's just how it works.

2. When you ask me if I’m afraid and I say, “no,” I’m lying. It's always on my mind that it might return.

3. When you ask, “What can I do to help?” it makes me want to scream. I am facing the most physically, psychologically, and emotionally trying ordeal of my life. Don’t make me evaluate your willingness or ability to do any of the 1,001 things on my To Do list. Make a specific offer of something you’re already willing and able to do to help. “Can I wash your car?” "Can I walk the dogs?" “Can I do your laundry?” Or, just show up and do something. I promise, if I look out the window and see you mowing my lawn, I will not call the police.

4. If you offer to help, and I accept your offer, do what you say you will do.  Be the stability that I’m having a really hard time finding right now.  My treatment may not be as effective as I had hoped.  My side effects may be worse than I was told. My recovery may take longer than I was promised.  Remember, the real pain begins after treatment ends.

5. Yes, someone else has told me about your herbal tea, essential oil, eye of newt, holistic lip balm that will magically cure my cancer in one application. But since my care team has never heard of it and they cure people with cancer every day, I’m going to sincerely thank you for your compassion while ignoring your advice, however heartfelt it may be. If you persist in promoting “alternative cures,” I may also block you on social media and even in real life.

6. Yes, I’m lonely. Cancer is not just a disease, it’s a place. Once you get here, you can never go back. It’s lonely here. And often, being alone makes it even scarier. Just come sit with me. You do NOT have to say the right thing. You don’t have to say ANYthing. Just being with me matters.

On the flip side of that coin, while I am lonely, sometimes I also need to be alone. Because, sometimes, I just need to be able to think, or to kick a piece of furniture, or to punch a wall.  Please don’t be offended. It’s not you, it’s me.

Yes, it’s a paradox. If you want to know whether I need you, or need to be alone, you’ll just have to work up the courage to ask.

7. Unless you have had cancer – and in many cases, unless you have had the same cancer as the survivor you’re talking to – no, you do not understand. Please stop saying that you do. It hurts. It also hurts when you question my symptoms or side effects. Stop trying to make cancer make sense. Stop trying to make cancer treatment make sense. Stop trying to make the side effects of cancer treatment make sense. We’re talking about cancer. None of it makes sense.

8. So much I don’t know. I don’t know if my cancer will return, though I’ve read every study ever done about my particular cancer and can quote all the relevant statistics. I don’t know if my side effects are permanent or temporary. I don’t know if my side effects will get better or worse. I don’t know if my “new normal” will be enjoyable, just bearable, or intolerable. I just don’t know.

9. But, I’m okay with not knowing. Why? Because regardless of what other adversity I have faced in my life, nothing – I mean nothing – has brought me more strength and belief in myself more than being diagnosed with, undergoing treatment for, and surviving cancer.   I learned that I am a warrior and have the armour to prove it.  My radiation mask hangs on my wall as a reminder of the inner strength I found that I didn't know I had - to endure this torture.

10. My name is Linda Corley and I am a cancer survivor.

LAB RESULTS FROM CARDIAC CLINIC

My Lab results all look good except for one.

LIPID PANEL

CHOLESTEROL 143 MG/DL 0-199 - F
TRIGLYCERIDES 146 MG/DL 10-250 - F
HDL CHOLESTEROL 47 MG/DL 30-85 - F
Non-HDL 96 mg/dL 0-129 - F
VLDL 29 MG/DL 5-40 - F
LDL CHOLESTEROL DIRECT 70 MG/DL 0-130 - F
TOTAL CHOL/HDL 3.0 MG/DL 0.0-4.4 - F

COMPREHENSIVE METABOLIC

GLUCOSE 104 MG/DL 70-106 - F
UREA NITROGEN 11 MG/DL 7-25 - F
CREATININE 1.0 MG/DL 0.6-1.3 - F
SODIUM 143 MEQ/L 135-145 - F
POTASSIUM 4.2 MEQ/L 3.5-5.0 - F
CHLORIDE 108 MEQ/L 98-109 - F
CO2 29.0 MEQ/L 22.0-34.0 - F
CALCIUM 9.6 MG/DL 8.6-10.5 - F
TOTAL PROTEIN 6.2 G/DL 6.0-8.5 - F
ALBUMIN 4.1 G/DL 3.5-5.7 - F
GLOBULIN 2.1 G/DL 2.0-4.5 - F
A/G RATIO 2.0 RATIO 0.7-2.0 - F
BILIRUBIN TOTAL 1.1 MG/DL 0.3-1.9 - F
ALK PHOS 111 U/L 34-104 H F
AST/SGOT 29 U/L 13-39 - F
ALT/SGPT 23 U/L 7-52 - F

eGFR

eGFR 54.7 mL/min/1.73/m - - F
eGFR (African-American) 66.1 mL/min/1.73m - F

CARDIAC TEST RESULTS

My CT Calcium Scoring Test results were 315.  This means that I have mild coronary artery disease with significant narrowings possible.  The number should be below 100.  So I am at a very high risk for stroke and heart attack.  Contributing factor is high cholesterol LDL and high blood pressure.

I have mild Left Ventricular Hypertrophy.  My left ventricle diastolic function is impaired.  I have Trace Pulmonic Regurgitation.  I have Mild Mitral Valve Regurgitation.  I have Mild Aortic Regurgitation.  I have Mild Tricuspid Regurgitation.

My results of the heart monitor I wore for two days showed periods of Rare Sinus Bradycardia with the minimum heart rate recorded at 42 beats per minute.  The maximum heart rate was 117 beats per minute meaning Tachycardia was noted with the longest run at 4 beats.  There were Rare Premature Atrial Contractions noted.  Rare Multiform Premature Ventricular Contractions also were noted.

That explains the heart palpitations I have experienced for many years - almost on a daily basis.

I am now on 3 heart medications - none of which I have ever taken before.  I monitor my blood pressure daily and show my Cardiologist my progress.  I have seen a decrease in my high blood pressure readings.  However, I feel side effects like dizziness and weakness.  

Last night I couldn't sleep due to sensations in my chest of gurgling that was happening all day and night.  Today the sensation is gone as I discontinued the diuretic medication.  I've never done well on that med in the past.

I go in for blood work in 2 weeks and will see my Cardiologist again in 6 weeks.

So glad I decided to see a specialist instead of continuing with my Family Doctor who tried me on many different types of blood pressure meds but we could not get it under control.  So I just sort of figured I had to live with high blood pressure and continue to take meds that weren't helping.

The last time I saw my Family Doctor I told him I was concerned about my low pulse rate of 52 which was due to the recent increase in dosage of my meds.  So he told me that he did not want me on any meds for a while and did not schedule me for a follow up visit.  That's what made me realize that I needed a specialist. 

I've had a hard time recovering from Gallbladder surgery but am getting some of my strength back.  My legs are still very weak.  I don't think I can take any more anesthesia.  The after effects have been long lasting.  I had the surgery while in Bradycardia so that could have put an unnecessary burden on my heart.  

It saddens me that I am missing out on going to the beach during all this great weather we've been having.  With summer coming I'll be stuck in the house till November.   

CARDIAC CLINIC APPOINTMENT

On March 18th I had an appointment with cardiologist Dr. Abben.  Due to my abnormal EKG showing Left Ventricle Hypertrophy and my heart palpitations I felt it necessary to make this appointment.  My family doctor has not been able to get my high blood pressure under control and that is what leads to LVH. 

Dr. Abben ordered a holter monitor for me to wear for two days and I am to see him again on April 1st for an Ultrasound and a CAT Scan.

EATING BAR-B-Q

I was getting used to being a vegetarian but did still crave meat and seafood.   However, today was the first time in 2 years that I was able to enjoy eating meat.   I had to dip every bite of Applebee's riblets in sauce so it would go down easy but had no trouble swallowing.  Had mashed potatoes with it as well as cole slaw.  

I do still have trouble eating lots of different foods especially chicken.  Rice is still a big challenge.  I have been eating bread again as long as I dip it in tea or coffee I can enjoy it.

It appears that I have had an increase in my saliva production lately.  This is probably why I can swallow some types of meat more easily.  

I feel so normal today.   Yes, today is a good day.

Going camping tomorrow.